Consider The Lobster, Consider It Mine.

Well, it seems as though one of The Great and Mighty Presto's most favored dishes has come under attack by an article that he has read, written by the mortal author David Foster Wallace. Well, The Great and Mighty Presto is here to declare that his words are heresy of the highest order! His opinion is wrong, as it is in contrast to that of The Great and Mighty Presto. One of the things that are brought up is the topic of whether or not the lobster can feel pain while it is boiled, and the questionably humane methods used for preparing the dish, and The Great and Mighty Presto would pose the question, does it matter? Whether or not it suffer, who cares, and what is this that they say about the chef leaving the room while the lobster clatters around the pan? The fool is missing the best part about the preparation! In fact the preparation of the lobster is the best part of the entire process of dining upon one, simply because they can feel pain, not in spite of it. In fact this article has only served to make the Great and Mighty Presto desire to dine on this animal more, it's even shown him that apparently lobster meat is even healthier than chicken, and that completely balances out the butter, after all how bad could heaping pile on pile of butter really be? Not to mention that they reminded The Great and Mighty Presto of many facts on the lobster he definitely knew before, he just happened to forget them for a period, after all The Great and Mighty Presto knows all. What this means though is that The Great and Mighty Presto may grace the mortals sitting around him with facts about the organism as they dine, which will surely lead to them see the enormous wealth of knowledge owned by The Great and mighty Presto. So yes consider the lobster for as long as you mortals desire, for The Great and Mighty Presto will be out eating one.

Stereotyping

Stereotyping Well, it is once more time for The Great and Mighty Presto to point out the errors in mortal ways of thinking. This time, The Great and Mighty Presto desires to point out a trend that has contributed to plenty of the other issues his glory has discussed previously, this being mortals tendencies to group entire groups together based on something rather insignificant, in other words how judgy you all seem to be! Whether it be on your clothes, your interests, your race, gender, economic class, ect, all of these are frequently used to harass each other and judge! The mortal writers Gretel Ehrlich, and Deborah Tannen talk about these stereotypes but both are only coming from one side. Tannen reflected the nature of this more accurately, discussing so called "marks", in her piece "There Is No Unmarked Woman", though she still didn't go far enough. This is because it doesn't matter what gender or race you are, those "marks" are applicable to pretty much everyone, including the so called unmarked styles that she discussed. Just like with woman, it seems as though not being fashionable or conforming to certain styles also leads to ones societal branding as a man as well. That's not to say that mortal woman don't have it worse in some ways, The Great and Mighty Presto is though saying that this is a problem that mortals have throughout their society as a whole, not pertaining top one minority alone. The Great and Mighty Presto declares this to be mortal culture's largest issue by far, and it is quite a baffling issue to The Great and Mighty Presto, not a feeling he is often susceptible to. Somehow mortals can go from cavemen to well developed technological society, and yet they still can't understand the concept of playing nice with one another.

Not so public space

As The Great and Mighty Presto journeyed through the streets of his city which you call yours, your glowing god noticed a strange aspect of mortal culture. That being the strange rules governing public space. You all seem to recognize the fact it is public space, and in some instances this is even valuable to you when it allows for you mortals to gather and form a sense of community. You mortals are by nature, social creatures. You become depressed if you don't have contact with others of your ilk for too long. Yet why then is it that on occasion, the presence of another is such a hindrance to you all? Usually it stems down from that whole racism debacle, which The Great and Mighty Presto explicitly told you mortals to get working on! Yes this whole idea just baffles The Great and Mighty Presto, him being far above the lowly prejudices of the common mortal. You all realize you named it public space for a reason yes? It doesn't belong to any particular one of you, that's the whole point of it. So why the is it that because of either their skin color or impairment, it makes you uncomfortable to have them around, in some cases it either causing you to become agitated and speak your blasphemy, or occasionally you freak out and run from a man because he happens to be black and anywhere near you at night. This specific example comes from a piece that The Great and Mighty Presto's most gorgeous eye scanned over the other day, it being under the name of "Just Walk on By: A Black Man Ponders His Power to Alter Public Space”. This issue became so prevalent for the author of the piece, Brent Staples, that he decided he needed to "take precautions" to make himself "less threatening". This all being because he was a tall black man. Your mortal society has gotten to the point where stereotyping and prejudice have lead to one of you who is supposedly a "softy who is scarcely able to take a knife to a raw chicken" having to take time out of his day to accommodate for your issues just to not cause a scene. So very impressive. The Great and Mighty Presto simply couldn't be prouder.