What? That's such a bad title, that makes no sense!

This mortal, David Foster Wallace, must be very confused, because

THIS:

is water. Ugh, he even got it right at the beginning, but then lost it as he went, those with alzheimer's truly are tragic. Though I must say that I don't believe that fish are capable of talking... After all I-The Great and Mighty Presto, would surely know if they could. Also how would this one know of the conversation the fish had? Some would say that this is an attempt at an anecdote, but The Great and Mighty Presto says no, he must be delusional, and remember, The Great and Mighty Presto's opinion is fact! He does have a point that all mortals worship on a daily bases though, but he seems to be under the assumption that not all worship me on a daily bases... This is concerning, we may have a heretic on our hands. Regardless of the possible heresy of this mortal though, there is also the issue he's another one of those cooks like we dealt with last week! Talking about "The real important kind of freedom involves attention, and awareness, and discipline, and effort, and being able truly to care about other people" ugh I can't go further it's too disgusting! This one seems to think that true freedom for mortals involves the ability to be able to-ugh- "care" about other mortals. Who's going around and telling mortals these grotesque falsehoods? They seem to their own ideas about freedom, well I should probably set them straight, real freedom is the ability to care for no one but The Great and Mighty Presto, who cares about other mortals? Their problems aren't your own, all you need to do is think for yourself, and faaaar more importantly, me! All this about paying attention to your surroundings and those around you is worthless, after all, The Great and Mighty Presto says so!